Being a commercial real estate broker most of my adult life, I learned how important reconciling energy is in the art of negotiation. I was most always in the middle of two opposing parties who wanted the same outcome, but under vastly different terms. It was my job to go between the two and negotiate an agreement that neither was completely happy with, but worked for both. Sometimes I had to be forceful, other times persuading, and most importantly receptive and listening for an opening for agreement. If I was successful, the escrow closed and I had a big payday.

My Real Estate days

The Enneagram is a system of nine personality types. Within the nine, there are three social groups whose energy moves in a similar way. The three types of energy movement are Active, Receptive and Reconciling.

Reconciling energy moves back and forth between Active/assertive energy and Receptive/quiet/withdrawing energy. While assertive energy moves against others to get what it wants, receptive energy moves away from others to take care of their own needs. Balancing energy goes between the other two and moves towards others to get their own needs met by earning it.

There are three enneagram types who naturally use their energy in this balancing way:

• Type Ones earn self worth and autonomy by knowing the right way to accomplish a good outcome and setting a good example for others to follow.
• Type Twos move toward others to earn connection and approval by knowing what others need and helping them to get it.
• Type Sixes move toward others to feel secure and more certain by being loyal and a good team player.

These three types are referred to as compliant.

• Ones are compliant to an inner set of standards they hold themselves and others to.
• Twos comply with the needs of others to feel valued.
• Sixes appreciate structure and clear lines of authority to gain certainty about what is expected.

Learning to use all three energies will enhance and strengthen your leadership style. Assertive types can use reconciling energy to build consensus and come up with solutions that work for everyone, not just themselves. Receptive types can learn to pause, and then move toward people to participate and be an integral part of the team.

Some may have the impression that being agreeable, adaptable, cooperative, flexible or dutiful is a follower, not a leader, but that is not the case. A great spiritual master once said, only one who obeys, can command.

 In this rapidly changing and uncertain world, adaptability, flexibility and cooperation are leadership qualities that are in high demand.

If you feel like you could use balancing energy more skillfully, I’m here to help.

Reach out to me for a conversation about how to enhance your authentic leadership style.